IUI Number 2 Done

We did our second IUI yesterday. My husband had 48 hours of abstinence and with that, we still had 21 million motile sperm after the wash. Great numbers. My husband is convinced that the first 3 tests were a fluke. He won't admit that the vitamins and the boxers helped. Oh well. But yet, he still agrees to take them. So that's good, so he might on some level believe that it's helped.

Today I feel a bit better

So, I sent this email to my husband yesterday:

I'm so fucking pissed off. There is absolutely no reason why I should have to be on hormones. My body works perfectly and I'm totally screwing it up with all this stupid shit.

I have horrible cramps--I never get cramps. My period is barely coming. I'm in a horrible mood.

fuck this shit.

stupid ass annoying money sucking asshole stupid fucking babies aren't worth it. fuck our future babies. they can suck it because I AM NOT DOING THIS STUPID SHIT.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I HATE EVERYONE.

Um.... yeah....

Husband called home immediately and listened to me cry. And then told me that we didn't have to do anything. He was so great. I called my doctor and told her that I didn't want to do the clomid. But this fertility thing is such a roller coaster. I hate that this is so medical. I hate that I'm on clomid. I talked to my Dr. yesterday to understand why I'm on clomid. She said that trying to get pregnant for over a year, and being that I'm 36 means that my egg quality is quickly declining. I just hate putting shit into my body. So I started clomid last night and could barely sleep. It was annoying. It was weird though, they said on day 2 of a full period, but then, my period hasn't been full until this morning. But my doctor said to go ahead and do it yesterday. So, here I am.

Continuance...

And we march on with the pro pregnancy issue. First thing my RE asked was "How do you feel about twins?" Um. Not good. Not that I'm anti twins, but wow. My family is on another coast, and my husband can't really support himself plus me and the kiddos. I'm sure he could if we didn't have to live in the most expensive city in the world. But, it is what it is.

I wonder why I am trying so hard to have children. I've never had that urge that I hear from so many other women, that intense urge for pregnancy. I do want a family though. I guess we'll see.

I really thought

I really thought that the first IUI was going to work, especially with the fact that my husband's sperm count had gone up so much. I was so upset yesterday that I screamed "fuck" and threw the negative pregnancy test at the wall. The cap fell off and the pee end of the stick hit my husband in the head. Thank god he's understanding. Then I sat in our bedroom crying and crying and crying. I hate this. And as it gets longer, more and more and more of my friends are getting pregnant having kids, having their second and in some cases their thirds and in one case their fourth. I am so over this whole thing. Today I hate my husband and I hate San Francisco. Stupid expensive city.

IUI didn't work

So our first IUI did not work. Not good. My doctor wants to put me on clomid, with an HCG trigger plus injectables on the back end. It sucks. It's the male factor infertility yet I am the one who has to be pumped up full of hormones. I'm not happy about that.

What's been going on.

So, my husband was diagnosed with a grade 2 varicocele. A varicocele is basically a varicose vein in his left testicle that heats up and kills off his sperm.

There are a few options for this:

1.)varicocele repair

2.)IVF with ICSI

Nothing is covered with insurance.

Varicocele repair costs $6000 with the doctor we wanted

to go with.

IVF is expensive and complicated.

Anyway, a few positive things have happened.

My husband made some changes, began some supplements and his sperm count has been steadily rising.

In September the first result that we got was .8 million (800,000 sperm count) with 12% motility

That is when we began to make some changes.

in October it went up to 16 million with 5% motility

in November it went up to 20 million with 37% motility

in January it went up to 49 million with 55% motility! Yay! Normal without drugs or surgery!

We decided to go to a reproductive endocrynologist who suggested an IUI plus varicocele repair.

So we scheduled his varicocelectomy and did an IUI a few days ago. My husband had a sperm count

there and found that his sperm count had gone up to 49 million with a motility of 55%.

Amazing.

Anyway, hopefully that did it. I really want to be pregnant already. I'll find out in two weeks.

This is what we did.

1.) My husband changed from boxer briefs to regular boxers

2.) He cut down on alcohol.

3.) He began taking vitamins and supplements.

This is what he took:

1.) New Chapter Mens Vitamins - you have to take 3 at a time. There is also a one daily but my husband

couldn't stomach it.

3 each evening

2.) Jarrow L-Carnitine

1 each morning

3.) New Chapter High Potency Zinc

1 each morning and 1 each morning

4.)Fertilaid

The dosage is 3, but my husband could only stomach 2 each morning.

Anyway, I hope that I am pregnant. And I hope that this information can help some other people.

I'll post when I find out.

The Whole Story

I was 34 when we actually first started trying, just a couple of months shy of my 35th birthday. But I figured that we'd try before the dreaded 35th birthday. We tried faithfully each month. I have a clearblue easy ovulation predictor computer. After about a year of trying, we decided to get tested, go to Hawaii, relax and have a vacation. Before we left, I got my blood checked. All my hormones came out normal, my FSH was super low, and I was feeling psyched, that maybe we needed to just relax and that our trip to Hawaii would help us to get pregnant. However, my doctor suggested that we test my husband too. Before we left, he went to the lab to get tested. Poor guy, he's so shy and the test was totally humiliating and traumatizing to him. He practically cried when he came home. And to top it off, he cut himself on the side of the cup. I felt so bad for him.

Anyway, we went to Hawaii and just 2 days into our week long trip, at 6am, my doctor called to tell me that the reason that I'm not getting pregnant is that my husband's sperm count and sperm motility is low. Exceedingly low. Anything under 20 million sperm per ML is low, and his were 800,000. -- Not even a million. His motility, which needs to be at least 50% was 12%.

I was so freaked. I started crying. And needless to say, it ruined our trip to Hawaii. Though, not really. We tried not to think about it.

I was really upset. I was hysterical and would start crying out of nowhere the first few days. My husband would barely talk about it with me. I felt awful. I was so upset but I had no one to talk to. We were both trying to process this, but he wouldn't process it with me. He just wanted me to change the subject and try to enjoy our vacation. Point taken. But I continued to be upset.

When we got back to California, we looked around for urologists. Not simple, most don't bill insurance and charge $500-$600 for a consultation! And it's billed as infertility which most insurance doesn't cover.

Anyway, my husband finally talked to a urologist specializing in male fertility. He felt relieved and happy to talk to him. And I spoke with his patient coordinator who was friendly and spent a long time talking to me on the phone.

My husband has to wait for some lab orders, get his blood drawn and then we can go forward with our first appointment.

Meanwhile I'm ovulating so I've pushed my husband to take guaifenesin and I've been taking it too. I figure that if he only has a couple of sperm, there's no reason not to thin out all those viscous cervical and seminal fluids in order to give the little buggers a fighting chance.

I'll keep posting as I learn more. I'm hoping to help other couples to have hope and information as I continue to find out more as it relates to our particular case.